Success and Failure

by williamthebloody

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Huh. Well, that couldn’t be quantified as a success. Even by the most liberal of definitions.

He looked at the dead body. Then he looked that the hand in his hand, neatly severed above the wrist, gun held in place by rigor mortis. He had no idea he was that strong.

At least he no longer had to worry about his fingerprints appearing on the murder weapon. He held his hand flat, weighing the hand and gun. Wondering if the weight came from the gun or from what was wrapped around it.

But what to do with it? He couldn’t take it with him. He looked around and saw it. Perfect. Especially with his morbid sense of humour.

He approached the mailbox.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Success and Failure

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Different, more concrete take on the original. A little hard to follow for some reason. I thought he’d chopped his own hand off for a bit there in the middle.

  2. Success and Failure

    williamthebloody's Buddy Icon williamthebloody

    Posted 2 months ago

    Yeah. Probably should have put something about the hand belonging to the decesed in there.

  3. Success and Failure

    Mighty-Joe Young's Buddy Icon Mighty-Joe Young

    Posted 2 months ago

    No i think you should have made me wonder if it was his hand or the deseased even more cause that would be a morbid sense of humor {cutting off his own hand}. If you left it vague on purpose well then, that is awesome i loved it, if not i still loved it. I am going to experiment with your invention of using misplaced modifiers, to keep the reader guessing, and build suspense. good story.

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