Remember the Dead : Misplaced

by Matthew Brown

John opened his eyes again and found himself lying on a cot in a small log cabin. He glanced over and saw a woman leaning over a heat stove. John sits up as the woman turns around.
“Oh, don’t move darlin, you took a nasty fall. Lay back down.” She lays John back and puts a warm cloth on his head.
She stares down at John.
“Do I know you?”
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. Please excuse me for staring. You just look…...”
John looked down at his clothes, the same clothes he wore to work. Then he noticed a picture on the wall. He approached it.
“Ah, now you see.” The woman said. John stared at the picture. A family photo that looked like it was from the 1800s. It was the woman in the room, her husband, a girl his age, and…
“No way.” John said. There was John, dressed in old fashioned clothes and smiling at the camera.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Remember the Dead : Misplaced

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted 5 months ago

    kewl story.. It keeps you guessing till the end. Sequel you must!

  2. Remember the Dead : Misplaced

    kaellinn18's Buddy Icon kaellinn18

    Posted 5 months ago

    Interesting premise. I’d be interested to see the angle the story takes from here.

    If you don’t mind a little constructive criticism: Try not to mix tenses. The first two sentences are in past tense while the rest is in present tense. Keeping it the same will help with flow.

  3. Remember the Dead : Misplaced

    Matthew Brown's Buddy Icon Matthew Brown

    Posted 5 months ago

    mixing tenses is my greatest folly as a writer, and I apologize

  4. Remember the Dead : Misplaced

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 5 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Overall, I like it. Conversation is a bit confusing (for me anyway.. You’ll find me saying that a lot.. don’t take it personally.)

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