Ficlets

Needs

She was shaking so hard that her body threatened to break into convulsions. Taking a deep breath, she steadied her hand on the gun.

“You don’t know me, you old pervert. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, you have five seconds to get out of this shed before I shoot you. One…”

The old man had the clearest eyes she’d ever seen. “Of course, I should have expected this. They always deny it at first. The need to get away suddenly becomes much greater than the need to come back.” He spoke in a leisurely manner that tested her patience.

“Are you deaf, you idiot? I – don’t – know – you. I’ve never even been here before. Two…”

“Open your mind. Listen to yourself. The truth is there.”

“Oh great, now you’re preaching. Well, suit yourself. Three, four, five!”

In the instant that she was about to pull the trigger, the old man opened his mouth and said something that stole the breath clean out of her: “Your father never meant to hurt you, Tara.”

Then the bullet escaped with the sound of a thunderclap.

Comments

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Needs
Lee Braiden
Posted 4 months ago

Nicely done :) I like the graphic depiction of her state at the start, the denial, and the way that the man seems to succeed in getting through, but also to potentially seal his fate. The father aspect is interesting too…there’s potential there for him to be the father in question, which might make the escaping bullet a much bigger source of conflict for the girl :) I thought it would have been more realistic with expletives, but I can understand wanting to avoid them :)
Needs
YodaOnCrack
Posted 4 months ago

Wonderful turn of events – described with flair and your own inimitable style. I really want to know what happens next… : ) Thanks so much for lending your talent to this series, Ana.
Needs
Browncoatben
Posted 4 months ago

Great emotion in the scene. And the description of the man’s eyes really helped me visualize. Now I’m off to read the prequel.
Needs
THX 0477
Posted 4 months ago

I had no idea this series kept going. Never ceases to amaze when things I originally thought would be a one or two-shot ficlet snowball into a series. Powerful stuff in this one.
Needs
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 months ago

Okay, I have to go back and read the rest of the series now, because this was intense!
Needs
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 months ago

(sidebar: he ignorantly realizes he’s already read some of the early installments in the series).
Needs
Apostrophe
Posted 4 months ago

wow he really got her attention with a line like that. I can almost picture this unfold in my mind. Her holding the gun and him pleading for his life. what an intense situation. Very well written.