“Hidey Ho everybody!â€? A high pitched voice echoed from between my legs. I leapt from the throne in terror and confusion, my pants collecting in a heap at my feet.

“What the hell?â€? My voice cracked like a thirteen year old boy giving a presentation. Back against the stall door, I peered cautiously into the toilet bowl. “Who said that?â€?

One of the floaters seemed to be wearing a floppy red hat topped with a white ball of fuzz. Twig-like arms began to sprout from the thing as it swam, it’s swimming?, towards the edge of the bowl. As it began it’s ascent to the seat of the porcelain throne, terror overwhelmed me. My breathing became erratic. Sweat oozed out of my pores in steady streams.

“Hello Mr. Bennett.â€? The vile thing began to speak through a small hole below a piece of yellow corn. “I’m Mr. Hankey, and I’m here to help with The Movement.â€?