Blimpy and the Butterball Baby (Silly Story Challenge)

by Tad Winslow

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Josephine is growing. Sure, she’s pregnant and that’s expected—but my god. She’s one sugar cube away from a full-blown double chin.

That’s my sister I’m talking about in the first paragraph—the obese pregnant one. If she ever got a hold of this journal entry my lungs would surely collapse after being sat on, so let’s keep this one under wraps.

The truth is I’m a victim of sibling abuse. Just recently I received the most painful purple nurple of my life after engaging with that bloated rhino.

I’m innocent. I was inspired by how she sweats melted butter after NASA -like lift offs from the sitting position, and because it’s apparent that she defeated the Hulk and ate him. Impressive.

So I thought up a new sitcom and made her the star. I called it, Blimpy and the Butterball Baby. I mean, what a gift of imagination right? Oh no. She lunged at me like a tuskless walrus, grappling my nipple with the pinchiest sausage fingers, and twisted with the violent intent to rip flesh.

How ungrateful!

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Blimpy and the Butterball Baby (Silly Story Challenge)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 6 months ago

    LOL , and ow! Never mess with a hormone-crazed pregnant woman! :)
    Love your descriptions, all about grotesque obesity, in a self-depreciating way, as if not to really offend, but to get a point across.

  2. Blimpy and the Butterball Baby (Silly Story Challenge)

    Blusparrow's Buddy Icon Blusparrow

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    HAHAHAHA !! That is hilarious, mostly because he deserved it and partly because of how he made fun of her.
    LoA

  3. Blimpy and the Butterball Baby (Silly Story Challenge)

    Brebelles' Buddy Icon Brebelles

    Posted 6 months ago

    I have 2 say the story is a very discriminatory. I have 2 admit tht most of the funniest stories R going 2 make someone feel inferior. Its either a joke/story about a African Americans, Blondes, Overweight ppl, white ppl, retarded ppl, & so on. Keep tht in mind next time U write another story/speak a joke. Think: Who may hear me/ read this & be high offended. BCuz who knows, their hopes mayb down tht day & then if they hear/read it they may get so depressed tht they kill themselves. Think B4 U speak/write.

  4. Blimpy and the Butterball Baby (Silly Story Challenge)

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 6 months ago

    I refuse to feel guilty about this story, and I refuse to apologize. It’s meant to make the reader hate the character telling the story and possibly laugh at the absurdity. There’s a difference between the characters a writer comes up with and the writer himself/herself. I in no way condone the actions of the awful people I sometimes write about, but to blame me for possibly making someone commit suicide is ridiculous and rude.

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