Unplanned

by Mike Olbinski

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“No, I don’t.”

Janine was crushed. What was she even doing here? And why did she call him Eric?

If anything, it should have been Mr. Lankilde. The low grades she received in his class during her junior year could be blamed on the hours she sat and stared at him.

He was so young back then, but he looked better now she thought. Beautiful even.

Nervously she followed Doctor Lankilde into his private office, where he gestured to the seat across from a desk.

She picked at a fleck of skin on her pinky finger as Eric looked intensely into a vanilla colored folder. Her body started trembling as she worked herself up. Like a bandaid she told herself. Just do it.

Janine couldn’t believe she had made it this far. Setting up a unnecessary blood test just to see him one more time.

Her mouth opened.

”...Eric, I wanted – “

His interruption came as if he never heard her speak.

“Well, I’ve looked at your chart, and I guess first off…I should say congratulations.

“You’re pregnant.”

“WHAT?”

Prequels

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Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Unplanned

    R.A. Porter's Buddy Icon R.A. Porter

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Sweet! Glad to see I’m not alone here now. :)

  2. Unplanned

    Mike Olbinski's Buddy Icon Mike Olbinski

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Hopefully I do alright…I am an aspiring writer, just need to practice more and have patience for something longer someday.

  3. Unplanned

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Interesting twist with the doc being an old teacher rather than a student.
    And I was slightly confused on the first reading of the second paragraph. I did not realize that she was the one making the observation of calling him Mr. Lankilde. The “no, I don’t” could have been a misdirect. Maybe turn that second paragraph into an internal soliloquy?

  4. Unplanned

    Mike Olbinski's Buddy Icon Mike Olbinski

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Okay, interesting observation, but the whole story so far as been an internal debate for Janine, I didn’t try to make it suddenly be someone else’s thoughts.

  5. Unplanned

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    great twists and lots of reasons for angst from janine here, previous teacher who is now a doctor? Could fit really, like maybe a chen or bio TA who was premed.

  6. Unplanned

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Mike, you are correct, and part of the misunderstanding is my fault. However, the story is told in 3rd person, whether or not it is omniscient or limited-omniscient had not been clearly established (to me). I just think indicating that this was her soliloquy could have helped.
    I’m trying to be more constructive with my comments as I feel being a good commenter is as important to the community as being a good ficleter.

  7. Unplanned

    Mike Olbinski's Buddy Icon Mike Olbinski

    Posted about 1 month ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    John,

    I appreciate that and definitely agree. Appreciate the thoughts and notes.

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