Oops

by Chgowiz

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“You have to take this tank.” I pleaded as his gasps grew louder.

“No… I knew what I signed up for…” he grunted as he pushed my gloved hand away. The stars looked on silently as we struggled to move back towards the safety of the airlock.

“We can both survive on one tank!” I insisted. “We’re less than thirty minutes away. We can move the tank back and forth!”

He shook his head, but he couldn’t stop me as I disconnected the straps that held the emergency oxygen tank to my breather unit. I reached around to disconnect the main feeder tube, so that I could transfer the bottle to his pack.

“No!” he shouted as he pushed away from me. “You know that little bottle is good for ten minutes only! It’s my own fault… “

“We’ve never lost a man in orbit and we’re not going to now!” I said. Then, it happened… the bottle escaped my grip from the struggling. It slowly drifted away, spinning around. I held the disconnected hose from my own pack. The air hissed out like a snake as I stood there watching.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Oops

    Chgowiz's Buddy Icon Chgowiz

    Posted 4 months ago

    I was inspired by one of the ending lines that Ficlets provides. It’s been hard to write lately, sometimes what I write works and sometimes it doesn’t. g I’m currently reading Dante’s Inferno through the DailyLit site, we’ll see what that inspires as well.

  2. Oops

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 4 months ago

    I liked the feel of this piece and the quality of the conversations.

    You did a great job writing a story to fit with that ending line.

  3. Oops

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow, a desperate situation that grew even bleaker in the end. Good job finding a starting point to that ending inspiration.

  4. Oops

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Dante’s Inferno is excellent, and immensly creepy-cool. The 9th layer of hell is the coolest description I’ve probably ever read. Your story was very visible to me, I could picture clearly where they were and what they were doing, so in that sense it’s a victory. And yes, I think you can write.

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