Beta Testing

by John Perkins

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I found myself surrounded by a throng of melting UN Special Forces agents and low level programmers. Next to me, Jen stood frozen in fear. Her face devoid of color, mouth agape, she had become a contradiction of the joyful, excited girl that had been my introduction to GobTrak just a day earlier.

“Come on,” I reached for her arm; it was cold to the touch. “We need to get out of here right now.” After a half-second of pulling she begrudgingly followed me towards the exit leading to the garage. Ignoring the cries—and hands grasping—for help, I scooped up an M16 that had been dropped by one of the dying agents.

“What’s happening to them?” Jen asked as we ran through dead bodies as if they were toxic tires at a high school football tryout.

“It looks like the BioWeps Nano Swarm is in successful beta.” I could feel her slowing, so I gave her arm an extra tug. They must have vaccinated us. But why? Why keep us alive? My suspicions growing, why keep her alive?

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Beta Testing

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    I thought of the last line earlier today and worked from there. I think it works.

  2. Beta Testing

    ZorkFox's Buddy Icon ZorkFox

    Posted 2 months ago

    Why keep her alive? Perhaps she’s the mad scientist behind the nanoswarm, or provided the theoretical knowledge to make it happen without knowing what the real mad scientists were up to.

    I had a bit of trouble with “toxic tires” and had to reread it several times before I figured out what you meant. Might want to have a look at it.

    Keep up the hard work! :)

  3. Beta Testing

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    Hm, I kind of caught that reference quickly and really liked it, but I’m a huge football fan and very familiar with the tire drill. I can see where it would be confusing though. Maybe lose the toxic part? I’m having a hard time coming up with another good way to make the simile work. I’ll definitely revisit it though, thanks for the comment.

  4. Beta Testing

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    I found this a very interesting and enjoyable read. Reminds me a bit of Greg Bear’s work from the late 80’s and I mean that as a complement. He’s one of my favorite authors.

  5. Beta Testing

    Ridcully Calvert's Buddy Icon Ridcully Calvert

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Very nice entry, keeps the action moving nicely

  6. Beta Testing

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    Thank you KevMullins. I’ve never actually heard of Greg Bear, but I’ll take any compliment I can get. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my story.
    Ridcully, thanks. I just hope that I left you and Steve something good to work with. This is the closest I’ve come to ever writing an action scene. I think it shows in that I had a hard time capturing the frenetic pace. Hopefully I will get better with practice.

  7. Beta Testing

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    You simply MUST look up Greg Bear. Like Clarke, he is a scientist so his writing is based in real science. Also he was one of the first (if not the first) writer to write about Nanotech. Find Blood Music it is considered his masterpiece.

  8. Beta Testing

    Ridcully Calvert's Buddy Icon Ridcully Calvert

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I finally got around to sequelling at the far end, hope it is not too far off the wall.

  9. Beta Testing

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hmm, Jen’s a double agent perhaps, recruiter? lets see.

  10. Beta Testing

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Yeah, I had been asking myself why would those two be immune. Hmm…

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