It's Always the Person You Least Expect

by ZorkFox

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“Wait, wait—wait a minute, Jerry. Stop talking.” Mom never could listen straight through a story without interrupting, whether to ask a question or make tea or use the toilet. Today it was a question: “What do you mean you’re God?”

I had to wait a beat. My internal sense of comedic timing would not be denied. I nodded, spread my hands wide, said it again.

“This is a very poor joke, Jerry.”

I explained as seriously as I could manage that it was, indeed, not a joke.

“You’re making fun of me, Jerry. I know you’ve parted ways with church and Jesus Christ our savior but that doesn’t mean you can… can…. I won’t have it.”

I created tea for her out of nowhere, incidentally restoring a piece of china she’d been missing for years, and waved away the pressure in her bladder as an afterthought. “The really ironic part for me,” I said, “is that science proved my existence.You see, there was always a finite probability that I already was God.”

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    ZorkFox's Buddy Icon ZorkFox

    Posted about 1 month ago

    Inspired by a reveal in one of William Barton’s books, The Transmigration of Souls, regarding the nature of God, which I found amusing.

  2. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like this story. It’s told very well and could provide for some very intriguing prequels and sequels. If I were a more competent ficleter I might even post one. As it stands I would hate to sully what you have crafted. Oh, and I got no ideas. =P

  3. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    ZorkFox's Buddy Icon ZorkFox

    Posted about 1 month ago

    Incompetent? Nonsense! Not having an idea is a fine reason, but you’re not incompetent. :) Thank you for the encouraging comment!

  4. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    this sorta reminds me of the satrical movie Dogma.. I don’t exactly know why.. Perhaps its the tone of voice in the main character. Definately a fun read..

  5. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I really like it. Oh it kind of fits into the theme of a series of ficlets that I’m working on, starting with “God is in the TV” from my list. BTW , your is way more comedic… that’s a good thing :)

  6. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    penguincaptain18's Buddy Icon penguincaptain18

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This sounds really interesting, nicely writte. I really hope you sequel this. Great job.

  7. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted about 1 month ago

    Great visual, the idea of mom and son (late teens or grown, I guess) having a little talk in the kitchen about his being deity. Didn’t quite follow the last line, but maybe I’m not up to speed today.

  8. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    JMSquire's Buddy Icon JMSquire

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like how nonchalantly the use of Godly powers is written into the story, makes it feel really casual and made me giggle.

  9. It's Always the Person You Least Expect

    ○○♥Promises Broken & Backs Turned♥○○'s Buddy Icon ○○♥Promises Broken & Backs Turned♥○○

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This ficlet is very well written, I agree with JMSquire, about how casually he mentions how he’s God.

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