Disturbing. I guess Gordo is as monstrous as I first imagined him to be. And what a scary thing he said at the end. I like his vocal cadence. It adds to the terror of the scene.

So dark and cold in the basement. Nice job making us feel that by contrasting with the sun.

awesome. Terrible. Wow. Great piece!

Ditto what Browncoatben and the other said.

I like it!

Way to lipo the flab and get to the meat of the story. Flab is the enemy of any writer and this (and most of your ficlets) are lean and mean. Nicely done!

Overall, I like this a lot. I’d probably stay away from adding the letter S to the verbs in Gordo’s speech, though, as that’s been beaten to death by Gollum in LotR. I think the stutter/break in the speech (if that’s what it is and not just a way of writing a drawn out vowel sound) is more unique. Also, I’m not sure if you meant dammed instead of damned. Dammed works, in that it fits blocking her words from getting anywhere, but damned has a darker connotation, in that her prayers will never reach heaven.

creepy, serial killer? dark, dangerous. totally creeped me out.

Dark and mysterious. Terribly dangerous. You did an awesome job.