Adrenaline Junkies

by uselessness

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We bought the car because it went fast. Really really fast. When you want to go that fast, you don’t really have any choice but to buy the fastest car you can find, and that’s exactly what we did.

It was even faster than we thought it would be.

Jonny sat in the driver’s seat. I sat in the passenger’s seat. Nicole and Harold and Yvette sat in the back seat with their knees squished against their chests. Jonny hit the gas and never let go.

A couple years ago I went to Europe and rode the train through Switzerland. I thought that was pretty fast. But it was like walking through peanut butter compared to this car. Creamy peanut butter, mixed with Elmer’s glue.

Telephone poles came and went so fast they looked like a fence. Speed bumps were ramps. Curves in the road hit like a punch in the mouth. It was the greatest thing ever.

We finally climbed out, bloody and mangled and smiling from ear to ear. It was 4:57, high five! We wouldn’t have to miss the end of senior discount hour at Golden Corral after all.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Adrenaline Junkies

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Awesomely funny story. Tremendously humorous final paragraph. Your eye for comedic details is uncanny. My grandparents love Golden Corral! But I think the bit about walking through peanut butter mixed with Elmer’s glue was the best. Top notch as usual. How the heck am I going to judge this challenge? So many great entries!

  2. Adrenaline Junkies

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    the ending is unexpected. The irony in old people liking to drive fast.. that is the humor value right there! Well written story.. and an enjoyable read..

  3. Adrenaline Junkies

    Ridcully Calvert's Buddy Icon Ridcully Calvert

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    The image of bloody and mangled yet smiling old folks stumbling out of a race car definitely had me chuckling. Nice one!

    LoA

  4. Adrenaline Junkies

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 4 months ago

    The descriptions were great and funny, and the little reveals were the best. “The greatest thing ever” and the senior citizen line, of course. Very good, just like all your other stuff.

  5. Adrenaline Junkies

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Sounds like the way my Gram drives. I applaud your non-stereotypical descriptions.
    .
    LoA.

  6. Adrenaline Junkies

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hysterical. all those old people in one car, made me laugh.

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