Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

by John Perkins

Add to AIMShare

Watching her car fade into the distance I walk around to the back door of the house. Opening the door, I catch a whiff of her perfume and pain swells inside of me. Memories—sudden and forceful—cause me to drop the empty bottle of cognac I had finished while waiting for her to leave.

I walk slowly down the hall to the master bedroom. Glaring at pictures on the wall I know I am no longer in. All these years I’ve been your ashtray. Not today, I think to myself as I push through the bedroom door.

After tying the rope around the ceiling fan and positioning the chair, I write the note for her to find along with my silhouette.

Standing on the chair I count down the hours:

There’s just 5 hours left until you find me dead
There’s just 4 hours left until you find me dead
There’s just 3 hours left until you find me dead
There’s just 2 hours left until you find me dead
There’s 1 more hour and then you will find me dead
There’s just…

I hear her car pull into the drive and kick away the chair.

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    This is a ficlet I had wanted to write before this challenge, so it’s not exactly what you were looking for. It’s not quite “fun.” I hope you still like it. All of the italics are lyrics from the song “Pink Cigarette” by Mr. Bungle. I’ve always loved this song. It reminds me of a David Lynch movie for some reason.

    You can see a fan created video for the song here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwWQYg7aS5o

  2. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Sometimes the “not so fun” ones are the most powerful and this is definitely powerful. Dark and dramatic. Painful and complete. Wonderful job!
    .
    Also, one of the best made fan videos I’ve seen. Glad it wasn’t a multitude of spliced photos :)

  3. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    `espressotherapy.'s Buddy Icon `espressotherapy.

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    i like the dark and dramatic feel of this. very nice job capturing the emotions. really like it!

  4. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!'s Buddy Icon I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!

    Posted 2 months ago

    I love it!

  5. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    wow. that was good. i.. i’m at a loss for words honestly.
    LoA

  6. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    Thank you all for the kind words. I’m glad you liked it.

  7. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    John it should be “your ashtray” and not “you’re
    ashtray”
    Nice one.
    LoA

  8. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted about 1 month ago

    @PyroPunk, thanks for pointing that out. Surprised nobody, including myself, caught that sooner.

  9. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    OrangeOreos' Buddy Icon OrangeOreos

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    John, I listened and watched the video, and I was surprised!

    I actually liked it!

    And that ficlet…

    It’s great.

  10. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    very tragic.. the images flash in my mind it is so well written , i’ll check out the video for sure.

  11. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    And people say I need help. Nice job on a gruesome ficlet. Welcome to the dark side.

  12. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    Blusparrow's Buddy Icon Blusparrow

    Posted about 1 month ago

    Wow! That is very tragic and really good! I am speechless other than that! Congrats on geting most popular!
    LoA

  13. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted about 1 month ago

    @Blusparrow, thanks. Not sure how it got up here. One day it had like 70 views, then the next it was at like 400. I think it was a glitch in the system or something.

  14. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    ○○♥Promises Broken & Backs Turned♥○○'s Buddy Icon ○○♥Promises Broken & Backs Turned♥○○

    Posted about 1 month ago

    wow. that’s deep. that is tragic, this does deserve to be on most popular. Amazing job!!

  15. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    Nissakit's Buddy Icon Nissakit

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Amazing job. Wonderful job on portraying a deep and dramatic feeling. I agree this definitley deserves to be on the most popular.
    I will watch the video.=]=]=]=]

  16. Pink Cigarette (song lyrics challenge)

    You Know You Love Mee!'s Buddy Icon You Know You Love Mee!

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    LOVEE THIS !!
    its sad..
    GREAAT JOB .

Want to comment on this ficlet? You need to sign in!