Humble Salvation

by THX 0477

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The room sparsely furnished, a thin mattress on a makeshift cot sits only inches from an uneven wooden table for one. A metal folding chair, as tilted as the table and slowly rusting away, is pushed to the corner. Cloudy water drips from the kitchenette’s sink of scuffed stainless steel.

Around rows of saintly icons, dingy walls peek in on the humble scene, the gaunt man kneeling in the middle of the floor. He faces the bed, putting his feet beneath the table. His head is bowed, hiding his sunken eyes in reverent shadow.

Shallow breaths ushering forth a whispered prayer shudder through his frail frame. A shirt as pale and worn as his skin clings about him, stuck to skin which is stuck to bone, all damp with the perspiration of a fervent summer day. His hands work around one another, grinding out salvation between bony fingers.

The setting sun sends its fingers, les doigts de Dieu, through a greasy window. Touched, he smiles. With a smile on cracked lips, he dies and slumps forward to salvation.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Humble Salvation

    kaellinn18's Buddy Icon kaellinn18

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    As many people have stated on your various Ficlets, you write imagery beautifully. This was a wonderfully described scene.

  2. Humble Salvation

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    WOW . Gave me goosebumps. I wonder how long it will be before he is found? 23 years?

  3. Humble Salvation

    paper flowers' Buddy Icon paper flowers

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Amazing as always! Can’t get better imagery than that.
    LoA

  4. Humble Salvation

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 4 months ago

    A shirt as pale and worn as his skin clings about him< imagery is as about as descriptive as can be,always inpressed with your range of writing.

  5. Humble Salvation

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    “The setting sun sends its fingers…”—amazing. It’s going to be really, really, tough to top this effort, THX .

  6. Humble Salvation

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Beautiful!

  7. Humble Salvation

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This was stunning. It conveyed so much in such a small space. It’s hard to pick a favorite line, but this one comes mighty close: _A shirt as pale and worn as his skin clings about him, stuck to skin which is stuck to bone, all damp with the perspiration of a fervent summer day. _

  8. Humble Salvation

    g2 (la pianista irlandesa)'s Buddy Icon g2 (la pianista irlandesa)

    Posted 3 months ago

    Geez, this is good; this was touching, definately felt the heartstrings tighten a bit. I don’t see how you couldn’t paint that and hang it in a gallery somewhere. You never have failed to disappoint.

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