Ficlets

The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]

“Have at, you sniveling cockerel of a dog!” A short, extremely rotund man, Ludovic Milfois, pulled back the lace-encumbered sleeves of his shirt and moved forward in what he thought was a menacing manner. In truth, he just looked like an overfed duck waddling forward in ill-fitting clothes.

The other man, who went simply by Jace, stood a short distance away, holding a rapier lazily in one hand. Raising his head, he surveyed Milfois with narrowed green eyes that brimmed over with amusement. Unbelievably, the duck was still waddling towards him. Jace’s second began moving forward, a question on his face. Jace stilled him with a hand.

“Let me take him. The duck’s mine.”

“Are you deaf!” Milfois screamed, his face turning a vivid shade of puce that reminded Jace of his sister’s favorite jam. “I said, have at, you sniveling cockerel of a dog! Are you a man or no? Fight, damn you!”

Jace struck a casual pose and said in a conversational manner, “Technically speaking, a cockerel can’t be a dog too, you know…”

Comments

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The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 months ago

For whatever reason, I can’t help but imagine Milfois as a pudgy, fat-duck-looking-guy who thinks he’s Sean Connery. My favorite line was “Let me take him. The duck’s mine.” I also loved that the punch-line, as I might expect from you, came down to a casual game of proper grammar…. ;) (sidebar: I love how Jace is so overconfident that he’s more worried about his opponent’s words than his sword).
The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)
Posted 4 months ago

I’m sure Milfois meant to say mongrel. I find the grammatical correction very funny. 10 pedant points to Jace.
The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]
THX 0477
Posted 4 months ago

a casual humor with subtle rather than overt or gross humor (such as what I stooped to in my entry). Nicely done.
The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 months ago

Just read your comment on the challenge page. And, yes, everything sounds funnier in my head. But, I obviously thought this was funny on paper. I wonder what the second was going to say when he was silenced? I can’t help but imagine him saying, “You can’t be serious dueling this guy. He’s waddling like a maladjusted penguin.”
The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]
J.B. Williams
Posted 4 months ago

Wow, I thought I was the only one that thought more of a penguin than a duck, the way he was waddling and all.
The Duel [Make Me Laugh Challenge]
Stovohobo
Posted 4 months ago

Funny and very subtle – almost highbrow in its refined humour. See, I’m so full of panache I even spelled “humor” with a “u.”
=)