Ficlets

Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard

Having sown her seeds of secrecy, Sissy set about to reap, perhaps a bud of love by summer’s ripening breath. Her bedroom door locked, she changed quickly from the heavy, flannel pajamas to something more flattering. Perfume could wait until she was in the car, no point fanning an unwelcome fire.

Her iPod in its deck plained mournful, pouting songs to cover her elopement. And with what light tred she broke from the trailer window. Love, her goal, lay only a car ride away, to be seized for her own this night before it can fade away, too much like lightning which ceases to be before you can say it’s there.

True this may be just a dream, the child of an idle brain, but had she not won this prize? And who could stop her? A dozen friends all thought she was sneaking out to see a different friend. Who could unravel that mystery?

Her car, parked on the incline, only groaned quietly as she took off the break and let it roll away from her humble home, away from sorrow, for stony limits cannot hold love out.

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Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
THX 0477
Posted 4 months ago

Hope it didn’t come out too awkward. I tried to weave in lines from ‘Romeo and Juliet’. I hate to give that away, but I’d love some feedback whether or not that “worked” or if it just made it sound…off.
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
R.A. Porter
Posted 4 months ago

It’s an interesting idea and worked beautifully in a few spots, but there are a couple that read very awkwardly. I think avoiding lines with archaic words (or swapping those out for modern equivalents) would resolve those few halting bits.
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
kaellinn18
Posted 4 months ago

I’d have to say that this one read pretty awkwardly for me. I found the rapid switching back and forth between narrative style and meter to be confusing and felt it interrupted the flow as I was reading. Interesting experiment, though.
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 months ago

As an experiment, I think I kind of liked it. I could imagine a R & J obsessed girl might think in such terms. Blending old and new words is always an inexact science, but it flowed well, for the most part (lest and doth I of course mentally translated as I went along). Besides, I love the line and who could stop her? and its explanation.
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
THX 0477
Posted 4 months ago

A few minor tweaks done. Thanks for all the input, guys.
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
SKermitgorf
Posted 4 months ago

Love, her goal, lay only a car ride away, to be seized for her own this night before it can fade away, too much like lightning which ceases to be before you can say it’s there> poetic throughout
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
Hunting Beauty
Posted 4 months ago

I agree with Kermitgorf. It was very poetic throughout. I liked this one. Maybe not as much as I liked the prequels but this one was still very good.
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
Apostrophe
Posted 4 months ago

I like how you used R& J inspired themes in this one. It comes across as a very intellectual and well versed piece. People sometimes try to do this to appear to be smart. But if its done correctly, you can pull it off without looking pretentious
Sissy Reaps: Ode to the Bard
Ana Cristina
Posted 4 months ago

The Romeo and Juliet didn’t sound forced at all. I had trouble spotting the lines at first. Great job on this installment, as in the others.