Party

by PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

“Why do we need to find the limnade? She’s nothing but trouble and you know it!” exclaimed Menog.

”.l.i.m.o.n.a.d.e.” whispered Uh.

“No, Uh, limnade as in water nymph, and as much trouble as she may be, we need her abilities for…” Ninik trailed off.

“For what?”

“For the job, you slowcoach! For what did you think I went through so much trouble to summon you.”

.s.l.o.w.c.o.a.c.h.c.h.

“I’m not slow!” Menog shouted petulantly. “My brain can handle 2 petaflops sustained throughput. That’s 4 times the speed of the most powerful human supercomputer!” To make his point he added “I am not slow! Ok!”

“Ok, you are not slow.” she placated him. “But sometimes you take really long to catch on.”

.ca.t.c.h. .o.o.n.n.

“And by the way, what job?”

“I’ll tell you on the way. Lets go!”

Slowly the three unlikely companions made their way deeper into the baobab forest. It was eerily quiet for the time of day. The cicadas should have been chirping and the scarab beetles should have been busy. It just felt wrong.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Party

    NightMaiden's Buddy Icon NightMaiden

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hmm…I’m a titch bit confuzzled. But the descriptions so far are good, and I like the way you portray the characters. : ) Do you have any ideas for this story? I wouldn’t like to make a sequel that’d take the plot in a completely different direction.

  2. Party

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice ominous ending, and I like the little back and forth about being slow with the techno-rebuttle. Gigs don’t equal smarts, apparently.

  3. Party

    Krulltar's Buddy Icon Krulltar

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    When I first read this, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was bothered by it. It has great dialog, it superbly establishes the personalities of the antagonists, and it has an ominous ending. Then I reread the ArrivalL prequel and realized that the statement “lets find Shanasha.” had me expecting them to be heading to the forest already. This sequel stopped the action to fill in more details, but IMHO feel the last paragraph should be moved to the top of the story.

  4. Party

    Krulltar's Buddy Icon Krulltar

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    When I first read this, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was bothered by it. It has great dialog, it superbly establishes the personalities of the antagonists, and it has an ominous ending. Then I reread the ArrivalL prequel and realized that the statement “lets find Shanasha.” had me expecting them to be heading to the forest already. This sequel stopped the action to fill in more details, but IMHO feel the last paragraph should be moved to the top of the story.

  5. Party

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

  6. Party

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

  7. Party

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

  8. Party

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    good vocabulary. I can see what Krulltar meant about switching paragraphs, but it doesn’t matter, it works just as well the way it is.

  9. Party

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    lol, has this site been loading slow for anyone else lately?! I got really click happy, or click frustrated, sorry. Maybe you can get most popular : )

  10. Party

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 4 months ago

    @NightMaiden – go with the flow. I haven’t thought about it much more than what I have here.
    @Krulltar – tried to swap the paragraphs. Didn’t quite gel so i left it the way it was.
    @Tad – Ficlets has been very slow recently. Also the star rating is not working so nicely. have to click up to 6 times to rate.

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