Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check

by Browncoatben

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I sat in the plush leather chair. Johnson only pulled you in his office for two reasons; to promote or to fire.

He didn’t look like he was in the promoting mood.

“Jim.” He said, staring at me coldly. “We’ve had our eye on you. We know about the money.”

I resisted the urge to wipe sweaty palms on my slacks.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

I just sat there, staring like an idiot at a nail hole in the wall behind his head.

I said nothing.

Johnson breathed heavily. “We’re letting you go, Jim. We can’t have anyone working here we can’t trust. This is a bank. Our clients demand, and deserve, integrity. They trust us with everything. You’ve betrayed that trust, Jim.”

I placed my drawer key on the desk in a robotic motion.

“Your final check will be mailed to your home address. Your account will be closed.”

As the security guard walked me out, I was keenly aware of the tellers watching me. Judging me.

I glanced back at Johnson. Smug bastard.

I’ll get this place. The thought came fast.

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Looks like you’ve got the makings of a real series here. A fantastic entry into the challenge, going above and beyond.

  2. Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Ah, motivation. I like that it explains the why but then adds the question of what the heck he did before. Nice line about promoting or firing and not being in a promoting mood.

  3. Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Congratulations on setting the bar super high here, Browncoatben. Fantastic entry!
    LoA

  4. Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This is fantastic! Even though you’ve scrambled the hell out of the order they work. It reminds me of “Pulp Fiction”. Great job Ben

  5. Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check

    JLaughter's Buddy Icon JLaughter

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Definitely a Tarantino-esque feel to the whole thing and I’m really loving it all! Don’t stop ‘em, ugly brother!

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