The pain was different now; it was guilty. This was exactly the kind of thing I avoided thinking about. That I was hurting my mother. As if I hadn’t been hurt enough already, I had to finish the job and hurt everyone around me too. I hated myself. I hated Paige. I knew it was probably unfair. Annoying as she was, she was trying to help. But she was bringing up painful subjects, things I didn’t want to think about.
”... you don’t mind if I call you that do you?” Paige.
“Of course not,” Mom doted. I scowled, Mom hated her first name. She must be extremely desperate for me to have a friend. The thought brought on another wave of guilt. I faught against it, but I was going upstream and the current was too strong. I fell back in defeat and let the guilt wash over me. As Mom left I wallowed in guilt; I was hurting her. I wished I could rid her of myself.
Paige’s voice snapped me out of it, “Stop that. That would only hurt her more.”
I blinked, had she known what I was thinking? If so, how?