Into the School

by JMSquire

“I’m utterly overjoyed, if I were to stand up right now I would crap my pants,” David said coldly, smiling brightly at his Mother, glad to see that her own smile had faded.

“Uh-huh, David, you better control that mouth of yours when talking to people here. This is a nice place, full of nice people,” She honked, a couple of kids flipped her off, “who have nice parents, some of which are lawyers, just be good!”

David nodded and took his mp3 player out of his pocket. He let the music drown out the annoying advice his mother was trying to share. He had the door open and was getting out before the car was fully stopped.

The exterior of the school was a mishmash of modern architecture. The Gentrax Corporation had hired the most prominent up and comers in the architecture world and let them each design a section of the school; While an interesting idea in theory, the outcome of the think tanks work was a hideous eyesore. David shuffled his way through the throng of other students, and into the schools interior.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Into the School

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Great storytelling here. I absolutely love the juxtaposition of mom saying how nice the people are with the kids flipping her off.
    I think that second sentence of the final paragraph needs a semi-colon in lieu of the first comma. And maybe make “tanks” and “schools” possessive if you’ve got the room. But now I’m just nit-picking. =P

  2. Into the School

    JMSquire's Buddy Icon JMSquire

    Posted 3 months ago

    Added the semi-colon, but I’m afraid I don’t have room for the possessive. Good feedback though, and I’m glad ya liked it.

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