Ficlets

No More Heroes

There was a time when it felt like an honour to fight crime.

I’ve been in this business for nearly thirty years, and I’ve seen them come and go. I remember when Doctor Mayhem stole the Chrysler building; I fought against the Venusian Lobster Men when they tried to invade Earth to steal its supply of linseed oil. You felt like you were making a difference, righting wrongs.

Today, I defeated a guy whose buttocks detached and doubled as throwing stars. It’s like they’re laughing at the whole thing.

The heroes aren’t much better. I have nothing to do with the current Legion of Justice. I can’t take them seriously when they have members with powers like being able to turn their bodies into aspirin, or control tuna (live or tinned) with their minds.

Some would say I’m no better. I dress as a giant possum and battle evildoers. It’s what I’ve always done; in a more innocent age, it made sense. Left for dead more times than I can remember.

Nowadays, you can’t tell who’s good, who’s bad, and who’s just nuts.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

No More Heroes
THX 0477
Posted 4 months ago

Hilarious. I love the serious, somber, thoughtful tone in light of the picture. Great ending, revealing that the speaker dresses like a possum. Oh, and I htink you missed a word in that last sentence.
No More Heroes
thebetweenspace
Posted 4 months ago

It’s like No Country For Old Men, but with an old superhero instead of an old sheriff. In a side note, that is one of the most absurd pictures I’ve ever seen.
No More Heroes
THX 0477
Posted 4 months ago

Couldn’t resist a sequel. I really liked the character’s voice you started here. I hope I did it justice.
No More Heroes
Eckhouse
Posted 4 months ago

Excellent ficlet! I agree with the comments above – this gets it all right in terms of subject, tone, everything. I kind of wish I could unsee the picture, though…
No More Heroes
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)
Posted 4 months ago

Funny, how Mr Possum Man tells the story. I like the matter of fact tone talking about something so surreal.
LoA
No More Heroes
Ridcully Calvert
Posted 4 months ago

This was really superb. The somber tone of voice set against the complete idocy of the described heroes and villains had me in stitches.

Oh yes, and the possum being left for dead was a great idea.

LoA
No More Heroes
Wolfechu
Posted 4 months ago

Thanks everybody for the feedback; glad you enjoyed it. THX ; fixed the missing word.

I have to ask: What’s LoA?
No More Heroes
Wolfechu
Posted 4 months ago

League of Awesomeness. Just figured it out ;)