HIS Hunger is Unceasing

by KevMullins

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. HIS Hunger is Unceasing

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 4 months ago

    Ok not to offend anyone of a specific turn… but I think I threw up a bit in my mouth as I wrote this one.
    The atomic bomb of disturbing for a strait guy… having to make it with a dude.
    I told you I was going for broke on this one.

  2. HIS Hunger is Unceasing

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Interesting. I don’t think it went too far. I don’t think it was offensive, but then again, I’m hetero. Not really any worse than what they did in The Shawshank Redemption.
    I was really expecting much worse. You did a good job presenting it.
    Should this line “but not tonight, before he finished” be, “but not tonight, not before he finished?”

  3. HIS Hunger is Unceasing

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I’m stunned that John didn’t catch this one. I think “room then clothes” should be “room, than the clothes”. The “the” can be a “their” as well.

  4. HIS Hunger is Unceasing

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 4 months ago

    Thanks all… I was trying to present this without going over the top or offending anyone.
    I found that if you don’t get too descriptive and leave as much open to the imagination of the reader, it comes off far more powerful.

  5. HIS Hunger is Unceasing

    Russell Ruffino's Buddy Icon Russell Ruffino

    Posted 4 months ago

    Definitely agree with you there, like the Reservoir Dogs ear scene, you think you see a lot more than you do because it makes you imagine it so vividly.

  6. HIS Hunger is Unceasing

    Ridcully Calvert's Buddy Icon Ridcully Calvert

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Very strong, gripping images.

    “This wouldn’t take long… it never did. They would recognize him and that was it. It made him irresistible.”

    That is some fantastic, taught, tense writing. Well done!

    LoA

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