Zombie Struggle

by uselessness

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I grabbed the mug from the nightstand and heaved open the window. Zombie Karl Marx had the crazed look of an undead Soviet landscaper in his eye (and the infested look of an angry maggot horde in his beard).

“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” I asked, throwing the scalding liquid in his face. It sizzled, searing his decaying flesh away from the bone like the worst kind of chemical burn.

“Hey, I was drinking that,” protested Nicole.

“From each according to his ability, to each according to his need,” I rebutted.

Zombie Karl Marx was screaming what I could only assume were very naughty words in Russian. I gracelessly wrestled the weedeater from his arms and pushed the monster from the trellis with my free hand.

He fell, zombie limbs flailing, for about a second and a half before partially impaling himself in the back on an in-ground sprinkler head. The corpse began to bloat as it filled with water. I turned away.

“Baby, it’s not safe here,” I told my wife. “Don’t worry, I sort of have a plan. Now let’s go.”

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Zombie Struggle

    Eckhouse's Buddy Icon Eckhouse

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Crap! It appears our hero is being mind-assimilated by the teachings of someone. Someone like Zombie MF Karl Marx. (That’s what I call him now.)

  2. Zombie Struggle

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    “Don’t worry, I sort of have a plan. Now let’s go.” Gotta love that “sort of” planning. ;D Great job!

  3. Zombie Struggle

    Hunting Beauty's Buddy Icon Hunting Beauty

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow…this is quite the situation they’re in. I hope the hero is sort of good at sort of planning. ;)

  4. Zombie Struggle

    BernerOberland's Buddy Icon BernerOberland

    Posted 3 months ago

    wwo, the imagery… like the quote>“From each according to his ability, to each according to his need,”

  5. Zombie Struggle

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    “I sort of have a plan,” is pretty my ficlet motto. Well played sir.

  6. Zombie Struggle

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 3 months ago

    These are just so weirdly hilarious. I love them. Not much more to say.

  7. Zombie Struggle

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Best use of communist rhetoric in an action sequence ever.

  8. Zombie Struggle

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    He sort of has a plan? Oh brother…

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