Out-of-Order Challenge - Not Checking Any Luggage

by Browncoatben

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The seat was itchy.

I was still sweating…couldn’t make it stop. I checked to make sure the zipper on the Jansport was tight and slid it under the seat in front.

Peering out the window, I saw a guy waving orange sticks as another plane pulled in at the next gate.

I looked down at the bag again, noticed the spatter of red on one of the straps. June’s blood. My hands moved a little too quickly…suspiciously…to tuck it out of sight.

Finally, we pushed off from the gate and began taxiing. The guy in the aisle seat loosened his tie and smiled that smug airplane smile people give each other.

Good afternoon everyone. came a voice over the intercom. We’re fourth in line for take-off. Expected flight time to Rio de Janeiro is about seven and a half hours.

Four minutes crept by.

The flight attendants were interrupted in the middle of their safety BS by the intercom crackling again.

Folks…I’m sorry, but we’ve been ordered back to the gate for a little bit. Won’t be long.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Out-of-Order Challenge - Not Checking Any Luggage

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Uh oh. Seems like Scooby and the Gang is on our man’s tail.
    You did a good job building the tension here. Well done.

  2. Out-of-Order Challenge - Not Checking Any Luggage

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 2 months ago

    Ooh…the simplest sentence makes for the most suspenseful foreshadowing.

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