Death at The Diner (Out of Order)

by Russell Ruffino

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Two men in suits walked into The Diner, Rachel’s eyes were drawn to the guns in their hands shortly before her ears were deafened by a gunshot.

“Ok, this is a hold up, I want everyone to hand over all your valuables. That means, watches, phones, wallets, jewelery, anything, hell, we’ll even take you’re shoes if they’re good enough.”

One man stood at the door with gun raised while the other carried a large sack and a gun, people started throwing their belongings into the sack. People seemed fairly compliant, a gun will do that to you.

The man reached Rachel and she threw her wallet into the sack, followed by her watch and her mobile. “Those shoes look quite nice, what make are they?”

Rachel tried to answer and the ring fell out of her mouth onto the table. She grabbed it and ran for the kitchen. The bullet entered her left shoulder and she fell to the floor.

The man picked the ring out of the growing pool of blood as Rachel weakly reached for it. Then the two men ran out The Diner, leaving her to die.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Death at The Diner (Out of Order)

    JMSquire's Buddy Icon JMSquire

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow… fantastic story and I think a really great entry into the challenge.

  2. Death at The Diner (Out of Order)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Ooh, did not see that ending coming. Great job on the out of order, jumping backward and forward.

  3. Death at The Diner (Out of Order)

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Really awesome entry into the challenge! This was a great read, and I did not expect the ending one bit.

  4. Death at The Diner (Out of Order)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Well, hopefully she didn’t die so that she can find Stu and kick his arse.
    Great entry. Very entertaining and well done.

  5. Death at The Diner (Out of Order)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 2 months ago

    yeah, I agree with John. Stu is a…well, I can think of many words, but let’s just say if she does die he won’t be at her funeral, and if he is, I hope he gets beat up. :)

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