Ficlets

Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}

Clerk: All rise, the honorable Judge Eli Titmouse presiding.
Judge enters, robes swirling and wig slightly askew. Straightens wig and sits down.
Clerk: Be seated. The court calls Aster Hicks to the bench.
Clerk: Are you Aster Hicks?
Aster Hicks: does a miserable Asterix impersonation I amn’t.
Clerk: Are you or are you not Aster Hicks?
AH: in the same voice Allow myself to introduce me: I am Asterix of the Gauls.
Clerk: exasperated Nevermind. Do swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth upon all that you hold holy.
AH: I swear upon the mighty Bacteria.
Clerk: forgetting all protocol She’s all yours, judge.
ET: Aster Hicks, you are charged that on the 30th of April 2007 you willfully, deliberately and with malice aforethought, in a state of semi-undress cavorted with a sexually aroused man, painted as a cow. And so doing disturbed the peace. How do you plead?
AH: I plead a fifth.
Clerk: interrupts This is a British court.
AH: I meant, I was drunk you silly.
ET: bangs gavel Order in court!

Comments

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Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
John Perkins
Posted 5 months ago

Ha, this is pretty funny. I like the style in which it’s told. Very reminiscent of a screenplay. Not sure who or what Asterix is though, so I’m slightly confused there.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
Wolfechu
Posted 5 months ago

For some reason, this reminds me of every sketch the Pythons did where the producer was mad enough to let them use the courtroom set. Probably why I like it.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
thebetweenspace
Posted 5 months ago

This was pretty funny. I especially like the detail of how she pleads the fifth in a British courtroom. Quite the character this Asterix of the Gauls, lover of the Almighty bacteria.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
THX 0477
Posted 5 months ago

Funny bit, very absurdist, like Wolfechu said with the Monty Python reference. Nice touch with pleading the fifth in a British courtroom.
And for those who don’t know, Asterix de Gaul is a bande dessinee or comic strip from across the pond about a plucky little Gaulois during the time of Roman occupation. It’s funny stuff…if you can understand the French well enough. The cow thing could even be seen as a bit of a reference to his companion Obelix, a large guy with a taste for wild boar.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
Ana Cristina
Posted 5 months ago

Now that I know who Asterix de Gaul is, this is pretty funny. Great dialogue! And I liked the details, as in the judge with his wig askew.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)
Posted 5 months ago

For those of you who don’t under stand the references to Monty Python or Asterix and Obelix or measures of alcohol, it’s high time you get “edumacated”. Your task for this weekend (or indeed the next month or so) is to:
1) obtain any (or all) copies of Many Pythons movies and watch them one after the other.
2) obtain as many copies as possible of Asterix and Obelix (they are available in English) and read them before you go to bed.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)
Posted 5 months ago

oh and
3) obtain a book on unusual cocktail recepies and attempt to concoct them using only gin, water and a slice of lemon (or if not available a slice of tomato juice), drink while enjoying the subtle humor of MP and A&O
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
Ana Cristina
Posted 5 months ago

I own all Monty Python’s videos, movies, etc. My favorite is The Holy Grail. So I’ve got that one down. I’ll have to look up the rest.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
SKermitgorf
Posted 5 months ago

Shakespeare would be so proud, like a homage to his comedies bravo.
I am a huge Python fan, even have Eric Idle’s autographed picture, and read Graham Crackers.
Courtroom drama {Great Supporting Character Challenge}
Ridcully Calvert
Posted 4 months ago

Now there is a scene that I for one would rather not witness :-)

LoA