Ficlets

Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)

Louis walked into the kitchen, his briefcase swinging at his side. Mary was at the counter, making his dinner, and as soon as he entered he came over to her, kissing her on the cheek.She turned her face away.”What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asked,with concern.

“Nothing,” she replied,staring down at the counter.”Bad day is all.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.Whatcha making?” he asked,curiously, looking into the pot.

“Just some soup.I wasn’t hungry cuz I have the late lunch shift.”

“But I’m always hungry for your cooking, hon,” he said, moving in for another kiss.She tried to turn her face away again, but this time she was unsuccessful.

“You sure nothing’s wrong?”he asked, sounding even more concerned this time.

“Nah, I’m ok.” she replied, stirring the soup.

“Well, that’s good. I’m gonna go slip into something more comfortable,” he said, making an obvious hint as to what he expected later.

He walked past, slapping her on the ass as he went.

As he left she whispered, “Fuck you, Dad.”

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
John Perkins
Posted 5 months ago

Reposting my comments from the other one:
Holy cow! Definitely did not expect that. Really messed up, but I dig it. A few little grammar mistakes here and there, but damn. What an awesome entry.
Thank you very much for taking the time to enter my challenge.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
Apostrophe
Posted 5 months ago

wow no way! Didn’t see that coming.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
OrangeOreos
Posted 5 months ago

That was an amazing twist!

Kinda makes me want to go take a shower…
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
Jenunique
Posted 5 months ago

Very unexpected twist!
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
thebetweenspace
Posted 5 months ago

I could have sworn I already commented on this one. Either way, my comment would have pretty much been a ditto of what Orange Oreos said – simultaneously gross and well done.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
Three Gryphon[s]
Posted 5 months ago

Woah.
Unexpected, but yeah, gross…
Really well written, too.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
Mighty-Joe Young
Posted 4 months ago

i am disturbed by this i feel like i need to take a shower or call my therapist. i am sure that was the desired effect so good job.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
Ridcully Calvert
Posted 4 months ago

Wow, that is an amazingly gross twist. Completely unexpected, and so well done!

LoA
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
AwkwardlyReversed
Posted 4 months ago

lmfao, holy crap.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
Akuhyou
Posted 4 months ago

Oh…my….god…
I really wasn’t expecting that… I feel all itchy now… I was just reading this and then when I saw the last part I was just…completely caught off guard… I was imagining this going on between me and my guy…and then him turning into my dad at the end… I was almost ready to cry it was so awful…

But despite the slight trauma I endured… I still enjoyed this very much.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
RainDance
Posted 4 months ago

Ugh. I almost gagged. And I was blown away by the twist at the same time.
Bad Day(Unexpected Twist Challenge)
NightMaiden
Posted 4 months ago

* gags for air * Amazing ficlet, anyways! The fact that it happens makes it even worse! But, great entry.