Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

by Apostrophe

Add to AIMShare

Monica wakes up each morning at 8:00. This is when she separates herself from her dreams. It’s at this time that she mentally clears the cobwebs from her head.
For the past few weeks, she hasn’t been feeling like herself. She notices that every morning she wakes up still tired no matter how well she slept the night before.

The hysterecetomy had been months ago, she shouldn’t still be tired from that.
She notices that lately her jeans have been feeling a bit tight. She finds it strange because she never gains any significant amount of weight. She hasn’t been eating any more than usual. Probably just stress,she thinks.
But this morning seems different. She has woken up with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. She feels sick. For the most part she has been feeling fine. She races to the toilet to vomit.
She finds an old pregnancy kit. She waits and watches as the color turns to blue. She panics, with realization. Could I be… am I.. pregnant?

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)'s Buddy Icon PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    To tell you the truth the second paragraph almost gives it away, but then again I have two kids and know how my wife felt during her pregnancy. Good job

  2. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 2 months ago

    All the details add up to the final realization. So I don’t feel surprised. Then again, I’ve been there myself twice. :)

  3. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Worst. News. Ever. =P
    I’m with the others here. It was more of a realization on her part than a twist. I still enjoyed the little story, and think you did a good job with it though. I liked the idea of “separating herself from her dreams.”

  4. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Whoops. Forgot to say, thank you for entering my challenge.

  5. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 2 months ago

    I had a feeling it would end up like that. Still the build-up was quite nice.
    One of your sentences here is a fragment:
    Moments like this, where she mentally clears her head and begins her day.
    Normally I don’t mind fragments, but this one was a bit jarring.

  6. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    This was well written! Nice job. I liked this one. =)
    LoA

  7. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 2 months ago

    I noticed you changed a few things :) Now THAT would be unexpected!

  8. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow, that’s some twist ending. I like her casual morning routine, the mentaly clearing her head part, and the unexpected end.You write in the here and now, as though we can see it as it happens.

  9. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Fairly substantial changes here. Adding the hysterectomy definitely gives it more of a twist, and I think you cleaned up a few other things. Overall, great job of editing, taking the suggestions of others, and implementing them into your story.

  10. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    Dreamer's Buddy Icon Dreamer

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Well, I didn’t read whatever it was like before, but I love this version! Excellently done.

  11. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    BernerOberland's Buddy Icon BernerOberland

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Yeah I agree, this is a cool story, and a shocker!

  12. Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 2 months ago

    I’d call that a good, slow twist. Or sort of twist-over. The hysterectomy sort of nips the pregnant theory in the bud, but then it comes back later.

Want to comment on this ficlet? You need to sign in!