Defeat? Or Comfort

by Just another writer

Jack’s face changed instantly. “What do you mean never?” He wasn’t sure if Anna meant they were dead, or if they just didn’t care for her, either way his eyebrows tied in that furious crease. Anna couldn’t afford to cry & break down again. She yanked her hand loose of Jack’s & walked towards her hotel. Jack walked right behind her all the way up to her room, & Anna could feel his angry eyes burrowing in the back of her head.
“You can’t come in.” she said quietly.
“I’m not leaving you.” he replied just as confident. Anna threw him a glare for testing her patience, but her irritation quickly dissolved into tiredness & defeat. She faced her door trying to put the key in the hole, but she kept missing as she couldn’t see through her tear blurred eyes. Jack spoke her name softly, but she didn’t answer. He put a hand on her waist & gently turned her around, but she hung her head, hiding her tears. Jack brought her a little closer, but Anna threw herself in his shirt & started to cry.

Comments

  1. Defeat? Or Comfort

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    Lovely moment full of tension and barely held back emotion. The sentence that starts, “Anna couldn’t afford to cry…” feels a bit long. Might work to split it up a bit.

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