The saddest day

by Julianna

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The rain clung to the window like paper to glue.
Arabelle stared out the window, her father had abanded her mother, sister, and her.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, feeling as though it was all her fault. Her mother had locked herself in the bathroom afraid to have her children see her cry.
“Arabelle, I miss Daddy.” Arabelle’s little sister Alana shrieked between tears. “Alana what do you want me to do about that!” Arabelle shreiked, “How do you think I could possibly make Dad come back?” Arabelle’s eyes blazed. “I dont know.” Alana sobbed hysterically, “Exactly so go cry to some one who cares.”

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. The saddest day

    RainDance's Buddy Icon RainDance

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Your story gave me a sudden burst of inspiration, so I posted a sequel.

  2. The saddest day

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Sad, though still pretty cool.
    I’d like to politely suggest that you create a new paragraph for each speaker. It makes the transition easier on the reader that way. Also, an extra line between paragraphs makes it easier to read on screen. On paper, the blank line is unnecessary, but somewhat vital on the screen.

  3. The saddest day

    Krulltar's Buddy Icon Krulltar

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Interesting story beginning, but, like John, I found the dialog a little hard to follow.

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