Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

by g2 (la pianista irlandesa)

He sat in a darkened corner, head down and heart heavy. He couldn’t believe she was gone. Not out-of-town gone, but gone forever. It happened so fast; he could have stopped it from happening like this.
He sighed sadly. The echo of his sigh fell on his ears heavily, but curiously; like someone else had sighed with him. Looking up, all he saw was dusty air. Or was it? He saw a shape of a young girl dancing with the dust & slanted beam of light penetrating the murky windows. She turned to look at him, then turned away, shyly giggling. Slowly he stood up, not daring to take his eyes off the apparition on the other side of the room. She turned to look at his sad face, joyfully skipped over the grimy floor to where he stood, & motioned for him to come down towards her. He crouched to the floor slowly, still watching her in wonder. She brushed his cheek, gave him a hopeful smile, & kissed him. She skipped away, finally fading.
He held his hand where she had kissed him & smiled a knowing smile. They would be okay.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫'s Buddy Icon ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫

    Posted 3 months ago

    Very good! Dramatic, and heartfelt.

    She turned to look at his sad face, joyfully skipped over the grimy

    I like that visual.. everything around is grimy, melancholy or sad, except her… i love the contrast.

  2. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Ah, that was sweet, definitely grabbed onto those heartstrings and didn’t little marionette-style tugging and jerking.

  3. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    The imagery here is quite striking. Nice one!

  4. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow.. this story is breathtakingly beautiful! It fits the challenge perfectly.. You enchant your readers with your words. This story is pure literary magic!

  5. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    Mighty-Joe Young's Buddy Icon Mighty-Joe Young

    Posted 3 months ago

    i want to ditto alro613’s comment

  6. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    LovingYourHeartbreak♥'s Buddy Icon LovingYourHeartbreak♥

    Posted 3 months ago

    wow, this was… amazing. WHO ? WHY WOULDNT THEY BE OKAY ? ahhh stupid one ficlet long rule! i want more of this so bad! lol
    this was great.
    too bad u can only go up to five stars..
    virtual 1000000000 stars!
    yay!

  7. Young Girl (Hauntingly Beautiful Challenge)

    [pens&feathers]'s Buddy Icon [pens&feathers]

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Such a wonderful, sweet little moment. Thank you for entering!

Want to comment on this ficlet? You need to sign in!