Rain

by Pat J

Red sky at night, sailor’s delight, yes, Murray thought, but when the sky turns to blood it can’t be a good sign. The very air carried the tang of iron and salt, and the moon cowered behind a scrim of cloud like a virgin bride behind her veil.

In the grim orange glow of the mercury lamps, the first drops of rain looked black on the pavement. The evening breeze turned to a demon wind, sending a discarded wax paper coffee cup skittering across the parking lot like a top that still has just enough spin to keep it from falling. A drop of rain struck Murray on his upper lip, and he tasted it, almost afraid. But it was only water, and the blood was all in his mind.

A murder of crows flapped across the sky, easily a thousand strong, and he imagined each one of them carrying a human soul in its talons. He shuddered, then fished in his pocket for his car keys.

The first bolt of lightning lanced down, lighting the dusk like it was noon, and the torrent began in earnest.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Rain

    Saffron's Buddy Icon Saffron

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Great buildup of ominous atmosphere!

  2. Rain

    PixelFish's Buddy Icon PixelFish

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Yes, I particularly like the ambience….rather spooky.

  3. Rain

    rkalajian's Buddy Icon rkalajian

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Wonderful!

  4. Rain

    emma jo_234's Buddy Icon emma jo_234

    Posted 10 months ago

    wow….a great sequel. i loved the simile about the moon in the first paragraph. spooky, yes…creepy. but i mean that in a good way. like, i wish i could write stuff that created a picture like that. :]

  5. Rain

    Pat J's Buddy Icon Pat J

    Posted 10 months ago

    Actually, emmaJ234, “Rain” was the original; “Omens” was a prequel, written after the fact.

  6. Rain

    Snarky's Buddy Icon Snarky

    Posted 10 months ago

    Beautiful. In a spine tingley sort of way. conjures up incredible mental images.

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