Bagman: VTOL at the Window

by JLaughter

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Bagman: VTOL at the Window

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Another cool entry. Got some good stuff in here.
    Although, this snippet makes me think your editing got the best of you: “bucking wildly against the winds barely 10 meters Ismail’s unfortunate exit strategy.” Feels like two sentences squished together, with a few words being lost in the collision.

  2. Bagman: VTOL at the Window

    Browncoatben's Buddy Icon Browncoatben

    Posted 3 months ago

    Same thought here, John. I had to read that “bucking” sentence a couple times and it still doesn’t register right. Might need a little attention there, Jon.

    Otherwise, another good entry, but how long does Benny have in 3503 before lady cop leads the charge?

  3. Bagman: VTOL at the Window

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Squawk! – I have to parrot what John and Ben said here. I had trouble with the flow of that sentence too. Aside from that, a great continuation.

  4. Bagman: VTOL at the Window

    JLaughter's Buddy Icon JLaughter

    Posted 3 months ago

    Yeah, I’ve been hitting the wonderful ole “writer’s block” wall on this lately, and I’ve been busy with a couple other things. Important things…like beer and 20 year old video-games in copious amounts. I’ll have a look at the sentence…who knows what I was trying to say with it?
    I don’t…

  5. Bagman: VTOL at the Window

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hmmm… I have to say that I’ve been in the writer’s block mode too… and there is nothing wrong with a bit of beer or vintage video games either ;)

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