Perfection

by Kelli

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It was 4:00 AM.

For most of the hot, humid summer night the two had been together. Of course, in the beginning, they had been with another pair of teens, they were all good friends. Those other two had called it a night at around 3 though.

These two decided that it wasn’t enough. And who could blame them? If you’ve ever known what it feels like to want, and to be wanted in return, then you would have done the same.

For her, it was the way he always said the funniest, most perfect thing at the right time. For him, the way her hair shimmered when she turned to look at him, and that smile.

Everything was electric. Their fingers would brush, and then gradually link together. Butterflies multiplying in their stomachs. Everything just felt right. Cliche? Yeah, but that’s how it was.

Eventually, their lips met, and the warm, sweet smelling rain came down on the whole city. Even though they were getting soaked and they had definitely missed curfew, they couldn’t have cared less, it was definitely worth it.

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Comments

  1. Perfection

    Kelli 's Buddy Icon Kelli

    Posted 3 months ago

    Ehh, not so sure about this one.

    Any feedback is definitely appreciated.

  2. Perfection

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    I thought it was lovely, especially the bit about wanting and being wanted in return. And very telling/real/accurate that she likes the things he says, and he likes the way she looks. Only misstep was that grammatically it should be ‘Butterflies mulitplied…’ or you should connect that to the sentence right before it.

  3. Perfection

    Morgo's Buddy Icon Morgo

    Posted 3 months ago

    I liked it as well. It painted a lovely picture and capture the essence of a first kiss.

  4. Perfection

    ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫'s Buddy Icon ALRO613 ♪ LoA ♫

    Posted 3 months ago

    i liked it. As i read it, i could feel you struggling with it at the beginning. I know that feeling – it happens to me alot. The words just fight me as i’m trying to put them down…
    But as the ficlet went on, and when you started to focus on the two main characters and how they felt, everything started to click for me.

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