Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

by Mighty-Joe Young

Oh why, i must ask did i argue so well?
I mean all my friends were already in hell
my accountant, fellow lawyers, even ally McBeal
Yeah Right“I told St Peter i demand an appeal
these zombies in white with their worshipful song
I need a Newport, a Miller, and a leopard print thong.
They have no TV, no Internet, no XBOX , NO BOOKS
no fights, no horns, not even, dirty looks
Hell has to be better cause everyone’s there
Cept these prudes with no makeup and their crystal Gail hair
The manna taste like prunes that have already been eaten
I see why Satan rebelled in hopes of getting beatin.
Everything i tried, to get me kicked out of here
like stabbing old Gabriel and cuttin off his ear
or grabbing a cherub for a quick shot of leg
left me still forgiven, cigarette-less and undead
At night when the square dancing finally slows down
If i listen real hard with my ear to the ground
I can hear the theme from Cheers and group fornication
I could be in hell livin’ good, but i chose litigation.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    g2 (la pianista irlandesa)'s Buddy Icon g2 (la pianista irlandesa)

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice one… Thanks for entering

  2. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    This was quite funny. Though litigators would definitely be the first ones down there, if it weren’t completely imaginary that is.

  3. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    Mighty-Joe Young's Buddy Icon Mighty-Joe Young

    Posted 3 months ago

    I agree with that because when the number one money holding organization in the world(made the money off selling hell insurance) says it aint real it just aint real. maybe that is my jewish logic but it works for me.

  4. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    Ridcully Calvert's Buddy Icon Ridcully Calvert

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hehe, that was great. Very Poe-like, somehow I can hear him squawking “Nervermore” from downstairs

    LoA

  5. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    I didn’t know the Catholic Church has denounced the existence of Hell. Maybe they know that if it does exist their current Nazi, anti-Semite leader will be headed there. It’s in his best interest to deny its existence I suppose. Well that and the fact that they harbor child rapists, and try to shield them from the law by hiding behind their religion.
    I’d think they spent most of their spare time praying that there isn’t a hell.

  6. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    Mighty-Joe Young's Buddy Icon Mighty-Joe Young

    Posted 3 months ago

    yeah pope jonh paul said there is no fire and brimstone that hell is a place when you find yourself seperated from the grace of god. yeah i am a great grandson of holocost survivors so i know about the agenda. lol

  7. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    More Ways Than One's Buddy Icon More Ways Than One

    Posted 3 months ago

    LOL hehe i love this!

  8. Heaven Without Hamburgers(An Epic Challenge)

    chakatreatmentson!(LoA)'s Buddy Icon chakatreatmentson!(LoA)

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    it’s like the day after doctor seuss acid wore off he got real drunk and took a bunch of pain pills- he’d totally write this

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