Ficlets

Truth [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]

While I was scanning the list of tenants, a woman came and opened the front door with her key. “Come on in,” she said to me, an unlit cigarette hanging out of her lip. “You don’t look too dangerous.”

I smiled at her, inwardly laughing. Oh, if you only know how dangerous I feel right now, lady. I felt like a spring wound too tight. My palms were sweating but my skin felt icy. I wiped my hands on my jeans and followed the woman into the foyer. A row of mailboxes lined the wall. I looked for my father’s.

PETER SMITH , 5-P

Then I took the elevator up to the 5th floor. I did not hesitate when I arrived at his apartment. I made sure my gun was loaded and ready before ringing the doorbell.

I heard his unmistakable voice shout, “Com-ing!” and then the door opened, revealing a gray-whiskered man in a blue bathrobe and matching slippers.

At first, he didn’t seem to recognize me. Then the wary look turned to recognition. It was like watching film develop. The darkness receding, revealing the truth.

Comments

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Truth [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]
Freedom :]
Posted 3 months ago

The last paragraph is very well written. Its cool how everytime I read on, it like pieces together the puzzle of this Backwards Challenge.
Truth [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]
John Perkins
Posted 3 months ago

You’ve weaved this story together very well. Everything seems to be falling into place as the mystery unfolds in reverse. It’s quite awesome.
I’ve got two notes for you on this one. I think it should be ” if you only knew how dangerous,” and I’d go with “[a]t first, he didn’t recognize me.” He does know her, he just doesn’t realize it. Does that make sense? Saying he doesn’t know her is kind of a lie. Or is that just me?
Truth [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]
Ana Cristina
Posted 3 months ago

You’re right. I didn’t want to write “recognize” so as to not overuse the word, but I’ll tweak it. Thanks!
Truth [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]
thebetweenspace
Posted 3 months ago

It was like watching film develop. The darkness receding, revealing the truth. That last paragraph, in particular, was fantastic. Also, I love the blue bathrobe and matching slippers the guy was wearing.
Truth [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]
Flute Loop<33
Posted 2 months ago

This definatly is way more intersting because it’s backwards =]