Rudy the Lesser Demon

by S. Lynn

“Well, well, well! Look who we have here!” Keylala could not see who the voice belonged too from her view, since telescreens were only made to capture the face of whoever you were talking to.

“Vardon! We were just talking about you.” Ivana said, turning around to face the newcomer.

“Vardon, I can’t see you, get in the screen!” Keylala shouted through her microphone. Instead of Vardon, the red head of Vardon’s companion filled the entire screen. Artow started waving madly again as he greeted the monster.

“Rudy!” Keylala heard Ivana cry, and saw Ivana’s arms wrap around Rudy’s neck, trying to pull him away. Keylala knew it was impossible to move Rudy if he chose to be still. And soon enough, Ivana’s arms disappeared and there was a crash on the other side of the telescreen.

“You stupid Lesser Demon!” Ivana cried, and Rudy somewhat smiled and stuck is tounge out at Keylala.

“Rudy down.” Vardon said, and Rudy’s head disappeared. Instead of Ivana infront of the screen, Vardon was. “Hello Keylala.”

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Rudy the Lesser Demon

    Mighty-Joe Young's Buddy Icon Mighty-Joe Young

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    “Rudy down.” Vardon said, and Rudy’s head disappeared. Instead of Ivana infront of the screen, Vardon was. “Hello Keylala.” hey the second part of this sentence is in the passive vioce, but i believe you could have made this one complex sentence by combinig and simplifying and made this have suspence and a punch line. combining sentence is like a running back turning a corner it is a real big step for us writers.

  2. Rudy the Lesser Demon

    Mighty-Joe Young's Buddy Icon Mighty-Joe Young

    Posted 2 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    “Rudy down.” Vardon said, and Rudy’s head disappeared. Instead of Ivana infront of the screen, Vardon was. “Hello Keylala.” hey the second part of this sentence is in the passive vioce, but i believe you could have made this one complex sentence by combinig and simplifying and made this have suspence and a punch line. combining sentence is like a running back turning a corner it is a real big step for us writers.

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