Escape

by charlesj

Sweat dropped from Daniel’s hands as he crouched in the bushes. He wished he had time to climb the tree, but it just wasn’t possible. He would have been caught for sure.

He had never been out this far before. Before now, he had been kept inside the walls, just as nearly every other person in Dryland was. You had to be be an officer in the red section in order to even look over the walls.

But now here he was. His mentor of 17 years laid dead, back in what had been called home to him only a few hours earlier. He had no idea where he would go. He had no idea what he could do.

Daniel held his breath as one officer drew close. It seemed like hours before the officer moved on, but Daniel held fast.

He was so close to freedom, and he wasn’t going to mess it up by breathing.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Escape

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Other than starting off with a typo (should be “sweat”), I think you did a good job here. Very cool, tense scene. Interested to see if you do anything more with it.

  2. Escape

    charlesj's Buddy Icon charlesj

    Posted 3 months ago

    Thanks! I’m so embarrassed about that typo. This is actually part of a larger story that is just forming in my mind, so I wanted to put this out there.

  3. Escape

    Krulltar's Buddy Icon Krulltar

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I agree with john. You gave us just enough to want more.

  4. Escape

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    What a suspenseful piece. The last line is perfection.

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