Ficlets

As your implied lawyer, I need to go over a few of my implied duties and obligations, make sure we’re clear on things.

I show up Sunday morning in business casual. Nothing too fancy, but most certainly slacks. This will contrast nicely with what you will be wearing (most likely an old t-shirt and crappy shorts). I will call you ‘Andrew’ and not your prefered ‘Andy’, and if asked I am an ‘old family friend.’ I will say as little as possible to your landlord, but most likely I will say nothing. Just smile and be a presence. Say nothing, imply everything. My tiny, expensive looking camera will always be in plain sight, but never used. This is to imply I can easily document whatever occurs, but won’t need to. Let’s keep this friendly, shall we?

Finally we come to the matter of my implied retainer: grilled calamari, BBQd Korean short ribs and plenty of tall boys are a start. Maybe some chips later on. And a few G&T’s if necessary.

If my services are required again, I will show up in a suit and imply agitation.