My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

by PantherStar10

A few weeks after the whole incident Nick, Tara, Joe and Kevin threw a party. Every famous Disney Channel Star was invited. Mitchel Musso was there too. He had a major crush on Tara. He hated Nick Jonas too. He went up to Tara and started flirting. Tara knew what he was trying to do. He went past Nick who was talking to Cole Sprouse and spilled punch on him then came back and tripped him. Nick looked like a mess but didn’t say anything. He was cool that way. Then Tarawent up to Mitchel and looked him in the eyes and said “Your a jerk and thats my boyfriend and when you did all those mean things I just got more attracted to him so thanks” Then she took the whole bowl of punch and dumped it over his head. Tara ran over to Nick and hugged him. After 10 minutes popuratsy arrived the party was crashed. They iterveiwed Mitchel Musso and Tara was in 200 magazines. They all said Tara should be fired from this one. She was already fired once and stuff like that but The Jonas Brothers knew the truth.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.0 stars out of 5

  1. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    Laine the Grey's Buddy Icon Laine the Grey

    Posted 3 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    .......Well, it was
    1.) Rather hard to follow
    2.) Umm, watch spelling and grammar
    3.) Some descriptions could have made it more interesting.
    I admire your enthusiasm and devotion to all things Jonas Brothers

  2. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    PantherStar10's Buddy Icon PantherStar10

    Posted 3 months ago

    um… thanks? No offence Laine P. Grey but I don’tlike it when people tell me what I did wrong in my stories that just brings me down

  3. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    LivExLaUGHxLoVEx's Buddy Icon LivExLaUGHxLoVEx

    Posted 3 months ago

    great job and it was easy to follow

  4. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    PantherStar10's Buddy Icon PantherStar10

    Posted 3 months ago

    thanks mickeyyyyyy

  5. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    penguincaptain18's Buddy Icon penguincaptain18

    Posted 3 months ago

    Its a really cute ficlet you have here but I have to be honest. It was a little hard to follow. Thats an easy fix, just break it up into sections. Doesn’t have to be paragraphs (like 5 sentences or whatever) you could just be 2 or 3 sentences then 1. Like that so its easier to get a sense of whats going on. Laine’s right you do need to watch ur spelling and grammar but it wasn’t too bad.

  6. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    penguincaptain18's Buddy Icon penguincaptain18

    Posted 3 months ago

    Over all its a good ficlet. Sorry if this “brought you done” but one of the best parts of ficlets is that we can read eachothers stories and see the weaknesses and by commenting on them we can help eachother grow as writers and become better. Thats what its all about.

  7. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    Writer4Life00nj's Buddy Icon Writer4Life00nj

    Posted 3 months ago

    I agree with everyone. It was a little hard to follow and there were some spelling mistakes but it’s a good story. I have to agree with penguincaptin, overall it is a good ficlet. I’m sorry too if I brought you down but we’re all just trying to help. We help each other become better writers and that’s part of what this website is all about!

  8. My tour with the Jonas Brothers part 7

    PantherStar10's Buddy Icon PantherStar10

    Posted 3 months ago

    I do have to watch my spelling & I’ll try to make my next ficlet easier to follow. Thanks for all your comments & help! :)

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