Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]

by JLaughter

“Paul? Paul, is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Paul said. He reached up and angrily wiped away his tears.

“Paul, are you crying?” The man on the bed shook his head, faint wisps of white hair falling into his bleary eyes. “Paul, why are you crying?”

Paul swallowed hard and shook his head once. “I’m not crying, Pa. I just got something in my eye.” He squeezed his dad’s hand, and the other man squeezed back, feather-light. So weak.

The door opened. Paul looked up at the nurse, silently mouthed five minutes. The nurse nodded and backed out, her eyes sympathetic.

“So much like your mother,” his dad said, his mouth twisting in what might have been either a smile or a grimace. “So like your mother…Paul? Paul?”

“Yeah, Pa?”

“Paul? There you are, boy. Where’s your mother?”

Paul closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Ma’s coming, Pa. She’ll be here soon.”

His dad lapsed into silence, his breathing slowing as he drifted back into sleep. Paul stayed for another three minutes, then got up and left.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 3 months ago

    oh wow. uh what happened??? this is good really =)

  2. Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Such a tragic beginning/ending. Can’t wait to see where it leads next.

  3. Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wait, there wasn’t a single cybernetic thing in this. Did someone steal your account? I’m confused…
    .
    Just razzin’ ya man. Well done. It’s nice to see you step out of the confines of your current series. I know on your website you have a varied amount of works, but we haven’t really seen much diversity from you here yet. If this is any indication of what’s to come, sign me up for the feed.

  4. Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]

    JLaughter's Buddy Icon JLaughter

    Posted 3 months ago

    Ha, it’s nice to get away a few times. Like I’ve said, Bagman really does take a lot of my brainpower. But, believe it or not, fantasy/medieval has always been my strongest point in writing.

  5. Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]

    Browncoatben's Buddy Icon Browncoatben

    Posted 3 months ago

    Nice departure, Jon. I likie!

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