The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

by JLaughter

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Sir Byron ate full well of the woman’s bread, and drank wine nigh until the room tipped sideways in his sight. And after he bathed and dried and arrayed himself anew in clothes she laid by for him, he called upon her and said to her: Goodly woman, much gladness I have of the bounty of thy kindness, and wouldst of thee a name, so that I might thank of our Lord God for thee, and remember it well when I return to my own kingdom.

Sir, I am but the widow Luniver. What, good knight, will I call of thee? And he drew himself straight before her and answered: My lady Luniver, I am Sir Byron of Farris, under my lord Gerideon’s banner and service, a knight of arms sent a-hither and thither in quest for many a great book that my lord doth desire.

And Sir Byron thought upon the widow, Luniver, with great kindness, and he fought her not when she sought to draw him with her to bed, and together they lie until morning rose and, with it, came a knocking on the door and a voice that said:

Out, errant sir; thee with my wife!

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 4 months ago

    Uh-oh! Lady Luniver is not a lady! A bit star-struck, I imagine. And now ashamed, perhaps???

  2. The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

    Browncoatben's Buddy Icon Browncoatben

    Posted 4 months ago

    Nice twist there…As Jayne said “That’s why I never kiss ‘em on the mouth.”

    One unspecific critique: I can’t put my finger on it, but something about the first paragraph felt cheesy to me. I read it 3 times and can’t figure out what it is, specifically, but something feels a bit cheesy.

    This is great stuff, though…and a very different world than Bagman. Nice diversity in your writing.

  3. The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

    KevMullins' Buddy Icon KevMullins

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Again very interesting. I do understand that you are going for a period feel but I do have to say a few parts of this one I had to read more than once to fully grasp

  4. The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

    JLaughter's Buddy Icon JLaughter

    Posted 4 months ago

    @Elsha: Nah, I don’t think she’s much ashamed of what’s happened, heh.
    @Ben: Yeah, it is cheesy, but it’s supposed to be.
    @Kev: The dialog can be really difficult to follow, but I’m emulating Malory’s style. It’s really challenging to write without the quotation marks!

  5. The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

    John Perkins' Buddy Icon John Perkins

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I’m kind of laughing at Ben here. The first paragraph is cheesy? Did you not read beyond that? The whole damn thing is cheesy, but in a good way.
    Reminds me of why I love Army of Darkness. It knows full well that it’s cheesy, and just runs with it, through the woods, naked, and screaming into a bullhorn. If you’re going for cheesy, you need to own it, and you, fine sir, have cheesy bought and paid for.

  6. The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2

    JLaughter's Buddy Icon JLaughter

    Posted 4 months ago

    That’s one of the best comments I’ve gotten, John. Thanks for making me laugh here in the wee morning hours.

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