Ficlets

Make-Up for Men

Make-up for men! When I first read those words I laughed so loudly the lady under the hair dryer next to me woke up. The magazine I was thumbing thru was one of those three month old ratty mags that beauty parlors keep forever. Make-up for men, humm, I wonder, did they get that idea from Boy George or those sissies in San Francisco. Us real men will have none of that, we want our women to see the real us. I pointed this out to my wife while I was installing my contact lenses, that we men aren’t nearly as vane as women. She didn’t accept this, so while I touched up my hair with Clairol, I went over the numbers again. 1. we don’t wear lipstick, maybe a little lip balm, but thats just to keep our lips moist. 2. we don’t smear our faces with creams, maybe just a little aftershave or conditioner, but that all. 3. No mascara or eye shadow, I said while touching up my mustache. We want to be as natural as God wanted us to be. “Have you seen my belly-flattener?” She had the nerve to call it a girdle.

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