Ficlets

Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"

WEST PALM BEACH , FL -

Superhero Average Woman, alias, Jane Doe, best known for being the only superhero to accomplish absolutely nothing of consequence, passed away on Sunday at 2:15 PM. Average Woman and her husband John Doe were enjoying a stimulating game of shuffleboard at their retirement home, Shining Shores, when she unexpectedly collapsed.

Doctors are still awaiting results from the autopsy but they suspect that she died of heat stroke.

“73% of deaths in Florida for individuals aged 50+ are a result of heat stroke,” resident physician of Shining Shores, Kendall Smith, stated. Average Woman was 55.

“She may not have achieved great things like Wonder Woman but she was a good mom most of the time,” her daughter Elizabeth tearfully informed reporters.

When asked how Average Woman made a difference in his life, John Doe responded, “I can best compare our marriage to the tale of Goldilocks – not too hot, not too cold. Just right.”

Average Woman is survived by husband John Doe and their 2.5 children.

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Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
Ana Cristina
Posted 2 months ago

Yes, I know this is ridiculous. I’m almost ashamed of it, but it was too much fun not to post. :p
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
SKermitgorf
Posted 2 months ago

Very amusing story, so glad to see the ressurection of the super hero obits series. it’s silly good hearted light fun. Average Woman, a unique heroine indeed. I like what was said in the obit about her. Great Job Ana, you’re really on a creative surge.
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
kwatz
Posted 2 months ago

I don’t know… I thought it was just…

...average.

:)
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
Mistress Elsha Hawk
Posted 2 months ago

I like the 2.5 children!
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
Mighty-Joe Young
Posted 2 months ago

another hero bites the dust(sequel)
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
Ridcully Calvert
Posted 2 months ago

Hilarious. Poor Emily Doe, what is she to do? Well, and her half-brother or sister, of course.
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
chakatreatmentson!(LoA)
Posted 2 months ago

I love this – because all us deviants know that average is impossible therefore anyone completely average must have some special powers! Great concept very funny!
Superhero Obituaries - Average Woman: "Not too Hot, Not too Cold, Just Right"
Punkin
Posted 2 months ago

Very funny. You took average and made it above average.