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Infidelity Can Kill

by Psylamia of the Skies

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Infidelity Can Kill

    Punkin's Buddy Icon Punkin

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I take it this was not the first time he strayed, but it might be his last. Nice descriptions. Catchy title too.

  2. Infidelity Can Kill

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow. Wow. Wow. This is the fantasy of many women betrayed through infidelity, methinks. Heavy material done very well, with sparse imagery and dynamic pacing.
    The only thing that throws this off a bit is that it is written in what I like to call a “wall of text.” Try chunking some of the sections into separate paragraphs and I think you’ll find it will help improve the pacing.

  3. Infidelity Can Kill

    Music-Hearted's Buddy Icon Music-Hearted

    Posted 4 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice job, and I like the title. This actually reminds me of a Drama piece I heard at a speech competition once.

  4. Infidelity Can Kill

    chakatreatmentson!(LoA)'s Buddy Icon chakatreatmentson!(LoA)

    Posted 4 months ago

    good story , but the title would more accorately be “pissed off cheated on wifes can kill”, but i’m just being nitpicky! really good story!

  5. Infidelity Can Kill

    Wyatt Aapr's Buddy Icon Wyatt Aapr

    Posted 4 months ago

    Absolutely wonderful. Strong visual, meger description. Captured your reader quite well. Good job. Ana is quite right about creating paragraphs, however sometimes u need every letter.

  6. Infidelity Can Kill

    Psylamia of the Skies' Buddy Icon Psylamia of the Skies

    Posted 4 months ago

    To Chakatreatmentson:
    Actually I had never thought of them as being a married pair. It does come off that way, I see now, but strangely that was never in my mind as I wrote it. Which makes her actions all the more extreme.

  7. Infidelity Can Kill

    Jungle Book's Buddy Icon Jungle Book

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    oh wow.
    i most definetly agree with Wyatt Aspr. It is true that sometimes you just need that extra space to get in what you want.

    but other than the “wall of text,” as Ana said, it was well written.

  8. Infidelity Can Kill

    Ezzie's Buddy Icon Ezzie

    Posted about 1 month ago

    deathly fabulous! loved it! 5*

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