The Gate

by Defy All Reality

Add to AIMShare

“You can’t do this alone, Max,” she called out as she ran towards him. Something was bothering her and she couldn’t hold it in. Max slowly turned around and faced her. “Max…” she began. “I’ve known you all my life and seeing you risk your life like this is not something I’m going to do.

“Kelly..” Max started. “This is extremely dangerous and I don’t…”

“I know that, Max,” Kelly interrupted. “I know it’s dangerous. I know what we’re in for. I just don’t want you to be going at it alone.” Tears began forming in Kelly’s eyes. “I want to help you. Please realize that.”

“Fine,” Max sneered as he turned back around and headed for the gate.

What a stubborn fool, Kelly thought. She wiped the tears from her eyes and sped up to catch up with Max and they stopped at the gate.

A man in a black suit and top hat appeared from their left and stood in front of them. His eyes scanned the two up and down with a crooked smile. “Mr. Powers…Miss Lea…” The man started. “Are you ready?”

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Gate

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    ooh, nice. i wonder what’s beyond the gate?? hmmm?? this just begs sequel me pwease!

  2. The Gate

    Wyatt Aapr's Buddy Icon Wyatt Aapr

    Posted about 1 month ago

    A mishmash of voices. You start off in first person, then switch to third person, then back to first. Confusing for the reader. A strong story, but needs work.

  3. The Gate

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted about 1 month ago

    Yep, Wyatt’s right, but that’s a minor fix to a promising start with an intriguing situation plus some interpersonal issues being hinted at.

  4. The Gate

    One Time, One Chance's Buddy Icon One Time, One Chance

    Posted about 1 month ago

    i have to agree with Wyatt, it was fairly confusing switching between first and third person. i think the third person worked well in this, i personally think you should stick with that.
    but other than that, i really like the plot here.
    =]

Want to comment on this ficlet? You need to sign in!