The Double Life of Leslee Cromber/Cayla Brown

by User 10108

“Oh come on, Leslee!!!! How come you didn’t tell me you were “Rock and Pop Sensation: Cayla Brown”!?!” Sarah Perez, Leslee Cromber’s BEST FRIEND screamed at Leslee. “Leslee-! I mean..Cayla…WE ARE BEST FRIENDS ! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ?!” She screamed. Leslee/Cayla just looked at Sarah. “Sarah, I didn’t tell you because…Because….I knew you’d like me for Cayla Brown! NOT Leslee Cromber!” Leslee shouted back. Sarah just looked at Leslee. “Come on, Leslee! Of course I wouldn’t. I’d like Cayla for her stuff. But I’d like Leslee because she’s my best friend and I like her for who she is. NOT just because she’s “Rock and Pop Sensation: Cayla Brown.”” Then, Sarah smiled. “Come on, Les. Just because you’re Cayla Brown doesn’t mean me and Connor won’t like you.” All of a sudden, Leslee’s face turned pale, then she started freaking out. “CONNOR! OH MY GOD ! I TOTALLY FORGOT ! Connor likes ME. But he also likes Cayla. So, we can’t tell him because then he won’t be Cayla’s fan anymore.” Sarah smiled. “Don’t worry.”

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Double Life of Leslee Cromber/Cayla Brown

    Wyatt Aapr's Buddy Icon Wyatt Aapr

    Posted 2 months ago

    This is a total mess. mark it as draft and re work it. Pretend you’re reading this for the first time.

  2. The Double Life of Leslee Cromber/Cayla Brown

    Wyatt Aapr's Buddy Icon Wyatt Aapr

    Posted 2 months ago

    This is a total mess. mark it as draft and re work it. Pretend you’re reading this for the first time.

  3. The Double Life of Leslee Cromber/Cayla Brown

    BARomero's Buddy Icon BARomero

    Posted 2 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    This needs more of a set up. What you’ve written here is the crisis point of your story. In dramatic terms, this would be the end of the second act and the start of the third, where we have the climax and the resolution. And this could potentially be very good, but in order for it to work you need to build up the story behind it and give your audience a reason to care about what happens to Leslee, Sarah, and Connor.

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