The Tempo Changes

by Cally

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She was glad to have him back out on the dance floor. There was something special about this night, about him. Watching the lights dance playfully around his face, she began to notice how much he’s changed.

They had grown up together. She thought she knew him, but looking at him now she began to wonder. Did she really know him? She hadn’t seen him much this past year. For the first time they hadn’t had classes together.

She smiled at him. They continued dancing. The crowd swirled around them, but she barely noticed. She didn’t want this night to end.

The music slowed and the crowd began to thin. He took her hand and looked into her eyes. As she looked into his eyes, the music seemed to fade away.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Tempo Changes

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    To be honest, I didn’t like most of this, but I did like the ending: “As she looked into his eyes, the music seemed to fade away.” Start from that thought and then re-write. Don’t you agree? The rest of it was too much of a “build-up”

  2. The Tempo Changes

    Frostbite's Buddy Icon Frostbite

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    I have to agree. Just a little too much background for such a short story. Otherwise it has a lot of potential.

  3. The Tempo Changes

    Cally's Buddy Icon Cally

    Posted about 1 year ago

    I’ll try a re-write.

    Thanks for the feedback!

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