Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

by sunshine_loves_moon

Mature Add to AIMShare

This story has been marked as mature by the author. If you'd like to read it, sign in and make sure you've opted to view mature stories.

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

  1. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    sunshine_loves_moon's Buddy Icon sunshine_loves_moon

    Posted 3 months ago

    please comment or leave me a note :)
    thanks for reading :D

  2. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    cloister's Buddy Icon cloister

    Posted 3 months ago

    There is probably no better touch-point an author could use for a story like this than the book “Go Ask Alice.” It is similar in tone to what you’ve got going on here, 100% completely compelling, and everything that a story like this should aspire to be.

    I don’t think you’re quite there with this story yet. Where are the mom’s reactions? She can’t have missed the bloody nose, or the calls from school asking where the daughter was. It screams “plot hole!” at me. I also [...continued in next comment]

  3. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    cloister's Buddy Icon cloister

    Posted 3 months ago

    ...I also am wanting to hear what the poor girl is going to DO about it. Keeping a diary is fine, but it’s very passive. She needs to start doing something active about her situation in order to become a protagonist we can root for.

    If it were my story, I’d have her plan some sort of amazing revenge against the bastard. I’ll tell you this for free: when I was abused as a kid (age 6) I couldn’t do anything. But ever since, I’ve wished I had bit the damn thing off and run with the bloody end to the cops.

  4. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    sunshine_loves_moon's Buddy Icon sunshine_loves_moon

    Posted 3 months ago

    thanks. im still working that part out about how shes gonna get through all of this but its a work in progress. :)

  5. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    cloister's Buddy Icon cloister

    Posted 3 months ago

    This also occurred to me sometime yesterday, or maybe this morning, but I haven’t had time to come post since then: I also feel a need for more explanation of why she doesn’t just tell her mom, or somebody.

  6. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    sunshine_loves_moon's Buddy Icon sunshine_loves_moon

    Posted 3 months ago

    shes kind of afraid too because; a) shes afraid her step father will get mad. and b) she doesnt think her mom (or anyone really) will believe her
    but i really havent included that part still.
    stilll thinking on this one.

  7. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    sunshine_loves_moon's Buddy Icon sunshine_loves_moon

    Posted 3 months ago

    will someone plz sequel or give me ideas for this because im kinda stuck on this…

  8. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    Jungle Book's Buddy Icon Jungle Book

    Posted 2 months ago

    you should make her say no one time and run with it from there.
    make him react.have her fight back.
    and then you could pull it back down to where she surrendurs and make her have this huge internal conflict and stuff.
    just some ideas….
    just write what comes to you
    i hope you come up with something soon.

  9. Diary of an Abuse Victim (4)

    lovinglife307's Buddy Icon lovinglife307

    Posted about 1 month ago

    this was a good start! i like it…
    im sorry, i have no ideas at the moment. i hope you come up with something! but, ill write you if i come up with something.

Want to comment on this ficlet? You need to sign in!