Train of thoughts

by khepa

The train arrived at quarter past nine. I got inside and I felt I was part of the train. My thoughts were running wild, aimlessly. But the train was heading towards the big city. She is waiting for me. I will see her after five years or is it four?

The darkness slipped around me as the train picked up the speed. I could see the trees, the slum, the dots far away. The wide sky was opening up when the conductor walked into the car. I could see the lights ahead, the train was entering a small city before it will take me to the big one. I can see small apartments with open curtains, people watching TV, cars waiting. Graffiti and lamp posts flew by my window as the train slouched in the darkness again. I dozed off. I saw newspaper headline in front of me.

I woke up after few minutes and saw the platform with big signs. She was standing there with flowers. I saw an anxious yet excited look. I leaned back on my seat and closed my eyes. I will let the train take me to the next big city.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Train of thoughts

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This flows… I love how your words gel together so well, but I think that you are capable of a much more memorable opening sentence. You have such a varied and vibrant background to draw from, and you seem so intelligent. Why not HIT US OVER THE HEAD with your astonishing creativity and smarts in sentence one? By the way, I only rate 5’s. This IS one! Good work, Khepa!

  2. Train of thoughts

    upintheclouds' Buddy Icon upintheclouds

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    wait, is this person running away? it’s good. really.

  3. Train of thoughts

    khepa's Buddy Icon khepa

    Posted about 1 year ago

    ya, that’s what I was alluding to i guess.

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