One iPhone to Rule Them All…

by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

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No one noticed when Apple Corp finally assumed control of our lives.

For years, Jobs and his cronies were flooding the market with pretty techno-trash. Who knew that the the functional and friendly style that was the Apple “look”, was actually created by a team of designers, artists and mind-control experts? Did anyone suspect that the Apple designers had taken their cues from the totalitarian look of the Nazis? Did anyone realize that those glass buttons, click-wheels and touch screens were all crafted to drain our individuality; to make us all a part of the Apple hive-mind?

Jobs’ greatest triumph was taking away our freewill by making us think we were actually choosing the “alternative”. That we were sticking it to “The Man” every time we downloaded a song from iTunes or powered up our ludicrously expensive Mac Books. We were all so, so stupid.

But when Apple created the iPhone, partnering with the most evil telecommunications company on Earth, our war for freedom was lost. Even before we knew it began…

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    DragonAngel's Buddy Icon DragonAngel

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Oh migod, you reached into the depths of my mind and pulled out my thoughts! (Read with Valley Girl tone.)

    Expressing them eversomuch better than me in a wonderfully creative venue.

    Thanks for the warning!

    (Too funny. Still laughing. Not ignoring implication, just laughing…)

  2. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Samantha Woodland's Buddy Icon Samantha Woodland

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    God that is so effing true.

  3. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Dangerous Angels' Buddy Icon Dangerous Angels

    Posted about 1 year ago

    2.0 out of 5 stars

    lol very interesting and funny.

  4. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Nick's Buddy Icon Nick

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Um, what are you trying to say here, mate. [Nick takes out his iPhone and starts petting it] My precious…

  5. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    khepa's Buddy Icon khepa

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    nice

  6. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Kevin Lawver's Buddy Icon Kevin Lawver

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    But, but, but, but, it’s not fiction! AUGH !!! 8)

  7. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Laine P. Grey's Buddy Icon Laine P. Grey

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Great Job.

  8. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    FlirtingWithaBrickWall's Buddy Icon FlirtingWithaBrickWall

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    haha, now im glad im too cheap for an ipod (yay for walmart mp3 players) or an iphone (cingular!!!!!!! wooh!!!!) if my brain will be washed, it will be by cheap products that have very little memory. take that Mr. Man.

  9. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Storykeeper of Fae's Buddy Icon Storykeeper of Fae

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hahaha, I love it. What a wonderful idea!

  10. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Amaster's Buddy Icon Amaster

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I’m so glad the only Apple product I have is an old iPod shuffle that I barely use. Hopefully, that allow me to be led astray to gentler technology, like nuclear bombs and killer robot soldiers. Good ficlet.

  11. One iPhone to Rule Them All…

    Officially's Buddy Icon Officially

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    You’re wrong. It isn’t Apple that’s taking over the world, watch the news and the people of the world and you’ll see the real truth.

    Starbucks.

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